“I’m really going to bitch at God about this one,” says curmudgeon

Groundbreaking television show will put the castmates in new surroundings, with different forms of furniture to sit and/or lie on.

Screeching, pig-faced harpy promises to never stop pursuing the ratings that come with fighting for justice for little Caylee Anthony.

Infamous murderer of daughter Caylee Anthony says: “I made it pretty obvious. Like, DUH.”

Actor will tackle role he was “born to play” as the fabled “half man” in the popular sitcom

Promises to continue global terrorist jihad; U.S. government officials baffled