Adam Lambert To Rim Puppy At Upcoming Concert
If music fans thought they had seen the last of Adam Lambert’s antics, they need to think again. After Lambert’s controversial American Music Awards performance, many segments of the viewing audience were disgusted when Lambert simulated oral sex with a male dancer, and then kissed his male keyboardist.
But Lambert plans for even more controversy with his latest concert tour, which will visit many of the major elementary schools across America and Europe. “If those prudes were grossed out by me kissing a guy, then just wait until they see what I’m planning to do in my tour,” said Lambert triumphantly. Sources close to the singer say he plans on rimming a six month olf Labrador puppy onstage during the ballad section of his concert.
Fans of the singer say even they cannot accept this latest stunt. “When he kissed that guy, I was like most other humans. I had to keep myself from becoming physically ill,” said Linda Bryce, head of the Adam Lambert Fan Club. “But if he actually licks a dog’s ass onstage, I’m not sure that even I could support him any longer.”
That’s all the part of the plan, says Lambert. “Music today isn’t about good songs or great performances,” said Lambert. “All that matters is being shocking and repulsive and gay.”
When asked what he might do if this latest stunt fails to draw attention, the singer smiled coyly and said, “Then I guess I’ll have to kill the dog and then fuck its corpse. Onstage.”
Adam Lambert should have been the winner of American Idol, such a great talent ~
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