Casey Johnson Killed By Tila Tequila’s Poisonous Pussy!
A coroner’s report is expected to reveal that socialite Casey Johnson, heiress of the Johnson & Johnson empire, died of poisoning brought on by eating the vagina of fiancee Tila Tequila.
It is a shocking turn of events in the case, as most onlookers expected that Johnson died of a drug overdose. The heiress was a well-known drug user, which she used to fill the empty days and nights of her pointless existence.
The results of the autopsy have stunned Johnson’s family and friends. “I knew that Tila (Tequila) was nasty, but I had no idea that her vagina was so lethal to human life,” said famed lesbian phony Lindsay Lohan in a prepared statement. Fellow socialite Paris Hilton echoed Lohan’s shock, saying, “I told (Casey) that she needed to stick to deep throating dudes, and stay away from that chink bitch.”
While there has been no official word from Tequila on the matter, she has released 1.4 million tweets that reaffirm her innocence. The latest tweet read: “My pussy is clean, dammit. It don’t stink or nothing!” The coroner has said that these tweets cannot be used as evidence
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