Internet piracy and a decade of horrible music causes record store owners to eat each other for survival.

Bob Dylan makes special Arbor Day album to boost AIG profits. “It will help endangered stockholder divivdends enormously,” says folk hero.

The wild fashionista metamorphosizes into an actual sculpture, Madonna jealous.

Had considered other cleaning utensils before making their decision.

Says brother Tito: “It’s just what my brother would have wanted.”