Cyborg Sam Raimi Talks SPIDERMAN 4!
In a world where movie franchises stretch their storylines to ridiculous extremes, the SPIDERMAN franchise sets a new standard. Already three films in, Marvel and Columbia studios are frantically preparing the next three films in the series.
This is great news for director Cyborg Sam Raimi, who hit the billion dollar jackpot when he was tapped to direct the franchise in 2000. Although Cyborg Sam Raimi shares a name with the gutsy independent director of inventive shockers like THE EVIL DEAD and DARKMAN, he is quick to dispel any connections to that missing director. “Sam Raimi was a decent director in his own right,” said Cyborg Sam Raimi in a recent interview at one of his seaside palaces, “but he didn’t understand he nuances of product placement, ad revenue, and opening weekend grosses. Tentpole films require directors who can handle these important aspects of blanket media saturation.”
Film purists have complained loudly about how Cyborg Sam Raimi has damaged the once-promising career of a whimsical visual stylist like Sam Raimi. Cyborg Sam Raimi laughs at such assertions. “Have these so-called “purists” seen the worldwide and domestic grosses for the SPIDERMAN films? Clearly they do not understand film as well as they claim.”
In addition to box office receipts, Cyborg Sam Raimi also points to his own increased profile among the Hollywood elite. “Before I took over, did you ever see Sam Raimi’s photograph anywhere? Did you ever see an interview with him? Of course not. He was a homely-looking Muppet with a poor box office record.” Added Cyborg Sam Raimi: “I basically saved his career when I took over.”
Although Cyborg Sam Raimi has no immediate plans to direct other films, he did confirm talks with Cyborg Peter Jackson to make “something with lots of CGI that will leave audiences penniless and melting in their seats.” He also plans to help other directors escape their former personas. Said Cyborg Sam Raimi: “I think Lars Von Trier needs to go on vacation and let a cyborg do some films for him as well.”
As for the whereabouts of Sam Raimi, the Los Angeles Police Department said they have no new information at this time.
Leave your response!