LOS ANGELES – Christina Aguilera’s hideous, screeching performance of “At Last” at the funeral of Etta James last week garnered its share of bad reviews. However, the performance was overshadowed by the thick streams of mystery fluid that cameras captured running down the singer’s leg during the show.
Many onlookers and speculative bloggers assumed that the singer, as famous for her filthiness as she is for her voice, simply had her period while screaming louder than a honey badger on fire. The singer repeatedly denied this to the scorn and incredulity of the public.
But new exclusive photos reveal that the dark brown fluid was, in fact, not menstrual blood at all. An upskirt pic taken during the performance recently surfaced, revealing that Aguilera was clenching several chicken wings between her thighs. The “blood” running down her legs was actually Caribbean Jerk sauce.
The chunky singer, who has battled weight problems most of her life, quickly issued a response to the leaked photograph. “I am truly embarrassed by this poor decision I made at this solemn event,” said Aguilera. “I saw the wings on the caterer’s table, and I couldn’t resist them,” she said.
When asked why she felt the need to grip chicken wings between her ample thighs during a performance at a funeral in front of millions of people, Aguilera admitted that food “is like sex” for her, and that “holding those dripping wings near my vagina in public was one of the most erotic moments of my life.”
Aguilera has admitted herself into Cedar Sinai hospital in Los Angeles for counseling on the addiction.
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