Finance Company To Provide Loans For Movie Tickets
Moviegoers have complained for years about rising tickets prices at movie theaters, even as the quality of the theatrical experience has rapidly declined. Now, a Hollywood-backed financial company has stepped in to fill the void, providing movie fans the chance to afford rising ticket prices and concessions.
The company, TicketLoans, will provide short-term loans to average moviegoers who simply cannot get enough of the amazing theatrical experience but who cannot afford movie tickets. “The average trip to the movie theater for one person has now reached hundreds of dollars, and this is out of reach for the petty cash funds of most Americans,” said Martin Freeborn, PR director for the fledgling company. “We step in and provide the necessary financing so that people can still enjoy a quality time at the theater.”
Consumer advocacy groups expressed outrage at the tactics of the company. Janet Goodwin of JusticeNow said that the formation of TicketLoans would “bring America to her financial knees,” adding that the company “exists only to profit from America’s insatiable addictions to the amazing entertainments Hollywood provides on a weekly basis at the movie theater.” Goodwin likened TicketLoans to a crack dealer cashing in on strung-out addicts. She said that there are many people in this world who simply cannot say “no” to paying $25 for a ticket to see Sex In The City 2 in 3D with a large bucket of popcorn, soda, and a bag of Twizzlers. She said that these poor souls will be the first ones reaching bankruptcy.
Not true says Freeborn, who insists that his company will provide these short term loans at “a reasonable interest rate of 24-32%, depending on credit.” He also stated that his company is not seeking profit, merely filling a need within the moviegoing community. “Moviegoers love the theatrical experience too much to let it go. So many masterpieces are released from Hollywood every year, and the average moviegoer needs to see them in a theater despite the sticky floors, cell phone interruptions, and poor picture quality. Our loans allow them to afford the experience once again,” said Freeborn.
In related news, internet piracy jumped up 240% over the weekend.
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