Kristen Stewart To Become Motivational Counselor!

Stewart plans to spread her joy to the kids of Los Angeles.

After years of inspiring young girls to achieve their dreams through the love of a man in the Twilight series, actress Kristen Stewart has decided to help in a more personal way: becoming a motivational counselor.

The actress, known for her winning smile and effervescent personality, announced that she will spend several weeks a year working in a youth center in downtown Los Angeles. Her goal, according to her publicist, is to help “kids around the world feel just as good about themselves as I do about myself.”

In a statement at a press conference, Stewart recounted overcoming her own terrible circumstances to achieve happiness. “I was lost and devastated when I became a huge worldwide star,” said Stewart, taking a drag off of her cigarette. She added, “I was rich, loved by millions, and got to make out with some of the hottest, most desirable men in the world. I was in agony.”

Only by learning to confront her horrifying situation with a mask of joylessness was Stewart able to successful overcome her trials and tribulations. It’s that type of lesson she hopes to impart to the kids she meets at the youth center, many of whom have been beaten, burned, and abandoned. “While they haven’t had quite the same level of despair that I faced,” said Stewart, “I hope that I can teach them my methods for overcoming these difficulties.”

Stewart also plans to work the suicide hotline once a week, talking kids through difficult times with her patented blend of wit and warmth. “I know how it feels to be at the end of your rope, where you just want to end it all,” said Stewart knowingly. “I’ve been to fully-catered photo shoots in some penthouse studio in Manhattan where I just wanted to kill myself. So I know how it feels to face hard times.”

Although Stewart plans to exude her typical personal touch to her appearances, fans should not expect to get too close. “I will be behind bulletproof glass during my sessions, armed with a shade that I can drop if the kids start crying or some bullshit,” said Stewart, lighting another cigarette. “I want to help, but I don’t need to see that.”