Lucas Announces Hoth Trilogy Of Films
Although spanning six official movies, hundreds of books, and countless spinoffs and toys, the STAR WARS universe is far from finished.
Creator George Lucas announced today that his production company, Lucasfilm, is gearing up to return STAR WARS to a movie screen near you. The proposed new trilogy, entitled THE HOTH TRILOGY, will chronicle the years between the films THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK and RETURN OF THE JEDI.
Lucas stated that the trilogy is one the fans demanded of him. “I’m so sick of doing STAR WARS films, but the fans demand it of me,” said Lucas at his Encino ranch. “The letters have been pouring in asking for more information about what happened on Hoth after the rebels abandoned it.”
Setting this new trilogy of films on Hoth might seem like a surprising one, given the fact that EMPIRE shows it as an uninhabitable ball of ice. But Lucas insists that Hoth presents a wealth of amazing stories just dying to be told. “People don’t realize that there are things that happened on Hoth after the rebels left. Like that ice monster, for instance. How did it survive with only one arm? These are the things that we will explore in greater digital detail.”
Fans of the long-running series can also expect to see a few old favorites. Lucas promises not only a return of the snowbeast, but also a certain flying blue friend. “The STAR WARS universe is incredibly small, and that allows us to tie these stories and characters together so easily. It’s like poetry, and it needs to rhyme,” said Lucas cryptically. “In the Hoth series, we will learn how Watto ended up on a barren ice cube in space after the events of the prequel trilogy. I also think there will be a lot of spaceships landing and taking off.”
However, the harsh environments of Hoth will not dull the cherished humor of the beloved series. Lucas promises many more hilarious hijinks in outer space. “The prequel trilogy showed that fans were hungry for more fun and slapstick in STAR WARS,” added Lucas, his jowls jiggling excitedly. Without giving anything away, Lucas mischievously hinted that “ice monsters get gassy, too.”
In addition to the films, Lucas is planning a radical promotional campaign to push sales to the limit. Most creatively, Lucas has invented what he calls “napkin adventures.” According to Lucas, the new invention will be a regular set of dinner napkins, each printed with part of the continuing Hoth saga. Napkin users can read exciting adventures while they wipe various orifices. The idea, says Lucas, came from his adopted son Jett, who suffers from a mentally-debilitating sort of palsy. “Jett comes up with great ideas all the time,” says the proud father. “For instance, his learning disabilities allowed him to come up with most of the names of the prequel trilogy characters, as well as the entire storyline.”
As for the proposed art films that Lucas swore to direct after REVENGE OF THE SITH, Lucas is surpringly curt. “That was a bunch of horseshit,” said the director, smiling. “You can’t make billions and billions of dollars with art.”
i am soooo happy that George Lucas is doing one more trilogy during The Empire Strikes Back. i thought that its already over for him but i am sooo excited that he’ll do o.k. with this announced trilogy. as long as this one is way after Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope. George i can’t wait!! thank you for having the time that doing another trilogy. now, it ain’t over until you know who sings.
“Be nice. Keep it clean. Stay on topic. No spam.”
I don’t particularly think it’s very amusing or NICE to be making fun of people with disabilities such as Palsy.
Palsy isn’t a laughing matter and I’m sure if you could walk in the shoes of a Palsy sufferer for half a day, you’d agree.
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