WASHINGTON – Citing entertainment news overload, President Obama today signed Executive Order #937 into action, which bans Hollywood studios from advertising that their in-production films will be made in 3D.
The 3D craze, ignited by the remarkable profits of James Cameron’s Avatar, has led to a nearly constant barrage of announcements about in-production films being made into 3D. According to Obama, this glut of announcements has caused more newsworthy items to be lost in the shuffle. “Most Americans know nothing about the BP oil spill, the credit crisis, or the deets on the new Christina Aguilera album because of these announcements,” said The President outside a hot dog stand in Chicago. He added: “We get it – movies will be made in 3D from now on. So let’s just assume that and get on with life.”
This is welcomed news from most of the top marketing firms in Hollywood, many of which expressed relief at the order. “It was really becoming difficult to come up with new ways to tell everyone that the latest Channing Tatum/Jennifer Lopez romantic comedy will be filmed in 3D,” said Russ Overmeyer, head writer for Cimarron Marketing Group. He added that the new ban “might allow us to focus on more important aspects of marketing a film, such as repetitive music, blue/orange color schemes, and loud, thunderous noises.”
Obama vowed to fight the use of 3D in advertising until “the studios stop entirely, or the American people decide they like it, at which point I will change my position.” When asked about rising unemployment, lack of available credit, and Wall Street scandals, the President deep throated a hot dog and had no further comment.
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