POLL: 4 Out Of 5 Demons Hate Khloe Kardashian
Although most well-balanced humans would scratch their heads in bewilderment at the mention of Khloe Kardashian, the curvaceous celebretease has remained in the public eye despite a glaring lack of talent or thought.
Apparently the Underworld agrees. A new poll finds that 4 out of 5 demons hate Khloe Kardashian.
As many media watchers suspected, Khloe was created by a series of incantations which brought her into being. Once established on Earth, Khloe began to infiltrate all aspects of celebrity culture. This media saturation was accomplished using only demonic powers from the depth of Hell, as Khloe does not exhibit or possess any discernible skills.
While the humans suffering under the constant barrage of Khloe news certainly despise her, this new poll suggests that the demons who helped forge her hate her even more. One demon, speaking anonymously, said, “I wish we never would have gone along with the Master’s evil plans. Some things are just too horrible to attempt.” Added another: “I hate that fucking dumbass bitch.”
But not everyone loathes the tiny Kardashian. Says one demon named Lamar: “Dat bitch is da bomb, yo. She gots an ass dat’ll make ya bone ya motha.”
None of these polls or pleas from the billions on Earth will sway the Dark Lord Satan, however. In press release, Satan unequivocally supported using Khloe to “destroy everything life holds dear.” In conclusion, Satan calls Khloe Kardashian “(his) greatest accomplishment, even more destructive than Katrina or Obamacare.”
Several email requests went unanswered by Ms. Kardashian, who was unable to figure out how to open her email.
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