POLL: 4 Out Of 5 Sexless Nerds Are Excited for Avatar
A new poll released today should have director James Cameron and Twentieth Century Fox excited – and nervous as well.
The study results showed conclusively that four out of five sexless computer nerds were excited about Cameron’s upcoming 3D epic Avatar. This is good news for Fox, which had been concerned about stagnant tracking numbers in recent weeks. The nerds interviewed mentioned the high-end, game-like graphics and cool battle scenarios as their primary reasons to see the film.
For Billy “LAN” Johnson, the choice is clear. “Cameron knows how to really tweak CGI so it doesn’t look so fake,” said Johnson excitedly, accidentally spitting out his retainer. Johnson, like most participants, balked at being classified as “sexless,” since, as he claims, he masturbates to Transformers posters five times a day.
But the news is also troubling for Fox, which has spent nearly $500 million on Cameron’s risky special effects extravaganza. Although the poll showed specific interest in the film among sexless, masturbating computer nerds, the poll showed clearly that average, normal, sexually-fulfilled, and intelligent people had little interest in the film.
James Franklin is one of those normal members of society who finds the whole Avatar craze a bit silly. “Look, I have a job, pubes on my cock, a woman who makes love to me on a regular basis, and I own my own house,” said Franklin. “Why would I want to watch a cartoon movie about giant blue people?”
Indeed, most normal people polled said they would rather go out and get a copy of Ferngully rather than waste their time. As Franklin mentioned: “That movie was already made when Ferngully came out. I didn’t watch it then, and I’m not watching it now.”
But for sexless nerds, the movie cannot get here fast enough. “I came just now when you mentioned the name of the movie,” said Johnson while holding his crotch.
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