Sarah Palin and Christine O’Donnell Fight!

For two years Sarah Palin enjoyed the fame and adulation that sprang from her repeated wins in polls as the least intelligent person in the Republican Party. Her grip on the honor was so complete that not even perennial party favorites like Rush Limbaugh or Bill O’Reilly ever presented much of a threat to her reign.

However, with Tea Party-backed victories in Delaware, Republican Christine O’Donnell has demonstrated a new challenge to Palin’s claim to ultimate stupidity. O’Donnell’s ludicrous recent claims of once being a witch and possibly becoming a Hare Krishna have eclipsed Palin’s mispronunciations and social gaffes. An anonymous source close to Palin says that the former Alaskan governor is fuming over O’Donnell’s ”effortless dumbness,” which Palin feels will make her seem too intelligent for the 2012 election campaign.

Sarah Palin and Christine O'Donnell fight over who is dumber at a Republican rally

The escalating hostility between the two Republicans boiled over at a Republican rally Sunday evening, when Palin angrily confronted O’Donnell about “being dumb in public and shit” while flaunting her “floozy-ass body like a dumb bitch.” O’Donnell countered that Palin was “old as fuck” and “not nearly as dumb as she makes herself out to be” while attempting to pull out Palin’s weave.

Fortunately, several high-ranking Republicans were able to pull the two women apart before any damage occurred to their photogenic faces. At the behest of John McCain, the two women were led over to a mud pit in one corner of the rally headquarters in order to settle the dispute, in the words of McCain, ”like Republicans.” Once stripped, the women wrestled for two hours until they both collapsed. A winner could not be determined by press time.

Sarah Palin and Christine O'Donnell attempt to settle dispute "like Republicans."

Palin issued a statement following the incident, apologizing – apparently without irony – to the members of her party for distracting politics with “pointless arguments and circus-atmosphere theatrics that I have always carefully avoided throughout my career.” Palin added that, in the end, “everyone will know who really is the dumbshit around here.”

In response, O’Donnell simply stated, “I sometimes eat dogshit for fun.”