Action star Sylvester Stallone’s days of releasing a film and seeing it top the charts are long gone. Sensing this, the buffed actor threw a gala event at an old Planet Hollywood restaurant to drum up interest in his newest flop, The Expendables.
Co-stars Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis showed up to support Stallone, who arrived at the event completely nude. While most of the celebrity guests came by limosine, Stallone strolled into the exclusive party riding the back of a llama. When asked why Stallone would show up on a llama, a drunken Steve Buscemi said that he obviously did it “for the publicity for his newest piece of shit film.”
Despite the heavy scent of testosterone in the room, few of the men expressed any problem with Stallone roaming the party naked. “I used to be a bodybuilder,” said Schwarzenegger in his thick Austrian accent, “so I’m quite comfortable being around naked men who are much smaller than I am.” Only Willis seemed genuinely upset by Stallone’s show of manhood, muttering repeatedly about Stallone being blessed with hair and a normally-shaped penis.
Despite such extraordinary lengths, Stallone’s The Expendables continues to drop at the box office. The llama had no comment as to why.
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