The singer, known for hits like Poker Face and Love Game, has, in recent months, paraded herself around in outfits that test the boundaries of fashion, physics, and sanity. In a recent concert appearance, Gaga wore nothing but reflective triangles all over her body. She has also appeared covered in Kermit dolls, and another time in a form-fitting bodysuit sprinkled with little plastic bubbles.

But her newest fashion maneuver has left the entire planet stunned. Gaga, undergoing a radical procedure, has actually transformed herself into a sculpture. Gaga was cast into a mold of Portland cement in order to make herself into an abstract stone sculpture of a woman. Visitors to Gaga’s concerts and appearances can press a button embedded in her breast in order to make her play music. When they do, they are treated to Madonna’s classic Holiday played backwards.

Madonna is said to be very upset about Gaga’s latest eye-catching stunt, but it apparently has little to do with Gaga’s use of her song.  Madonna’s publicist, Liz Rosenberg, reminded everyone Friday that “Madonna has been doing transformation longer and better than anyone else.” Rosenberg noted that Madonna has recently transformed herself into a Flashdance Zombie. 

But Gaga intends to outdo everyone in the art department. Gaga released a statement before her transformation, saying that, “Andy Warhol has nothing on me. I must be as abnormal as I possibly can at every point in my life, or I simply will never be happy.”

Director Terry Gilliam has publicly accused Tim Burton of copying both his style and substance in the newest issue of Starlog magazine, a geek magazine about science fiction and fantasy films. This has set off a firestorm of controversy among fringe Hollywood types and virgins around the world.

Says Gilliam: “I have been making purposely weird movies for years, long before Burton was even a sperm and an egg,” said the director of the upcoming THE IMAGINARIUM OF DOCTOR PARNASSAS, a weird title if there ever was one. “I mean, quirky is practically my middle name!” added the highly successful director. To bolster his argument, Gilliam mentioned that he was making those peculiar animations for Monty Python back in the seventies, “long before Burton ever even figured out that it was cool to be a black-clad weirdo.”

Many critics agree with Gilliam’s assertions. Recently freed movie critic Ben Mankiewicz stated that, “Gilliam’s films stopped making sense long before Burton ever even got into moviemaking,” said Mankiewicz. “In fact, I’ll give a hundred bucks to anyone who can explain THE ADVENTURES OF BARON MUNCHAUSEN to me. It’s just weird for the sake of being weird much more than any of Burton’s films.” Other critics mention Gilliam’s weird obsession with featuring hot air balloons in almost everything he makes. “Burton might be purposely weird, but Gilliam takes it to the next level of obsessiveness,” said movie critic A.O. Scott.  

Burton has a much different opinion, however. In a recent interview, Burton asserted his claim on the weird dynasty. “Not only do I look weirder than Terry,” said the director of BEETLEJUICE and SLEEPY HOLLOW, “but all of my films are weird, unlike Terry’s films.” According to Burton, normal films like TIDELAND should disqualify Gilliam from consideration as Hollywood’s weirdest director. Added Burton: “Every single movie I have ever made has been stuffed to the gills with weirdness and quirkiness. I don’t even know how to do normal films at all, so I should obviously be the winner.”

In support of his argument, Burton mentions his upcoming adaptation of ALICE IN WONDERLAND. “Have you seen the pictures of Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter? I mean, there’s no reason at all for him to look like that, except that I thought it would be really cool to make him look as weird as possible,” said the director as he played with a long dark spike of hair. Burton also mentions the weird looks Depp sported in all of his other films as well.

But Gilliam counters Burton’s argument by mentioning that Burton “hasn’t made an original film since he became a fat-cat Hollywood player. Sure, his films are weird, but it’s easy to be weird when you’re adapting the work of someone else.” Indeed, five of Burton’s last seven films have been adaptations rather than original works.

But Gilliam sees even more weaknesses in Burton’s claim to weirdness fame. “Not only is every film the same level of weirdness, but Burton also puts Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter in every fucking movie,” said Gilliam with a snort. “It’s like he’s made the same damned movie five times!!!” When asked about this, Burton simply replied, “my movies make more money than his, so obviously the American public prefers my brand of weirdness.”

To settle the dispute, both Gilliam and Burton intend to set up a website in order for fans to vote on who is actually weirder. There is no information at this time on whether this dispute has anything to do with the fact that both directors have weird movies coming out this fall.