Fans of Bieber are outraged by these displays of interspecies affection

Friends of Disney star/Mexican Selena Gomez say that recent pictures of Gomez cavorting with pop star Justin Bieber prove they were right – Gomez is attempting to use the naive singer to gain citizenship in the United States.

The photos that have shocked Bieber’s fanbase feature Gomez and Bieber frolicking on a yacht together in the Caribbean. In several pictures, an underaged Bieber can be seen touching the slippery Mexican backside of Gomez, who returns the affection by cupping Bieber’s hairless, underdeveloped genitalia. Fans have been so outraged by the pictures that they have sent death threats to Gomez by way of the American Embassy in her hometown of Mexico City.

Fans insist that their anger is not directed toward Bieber, who is completely innocent given the fact that he came out as a homosexual several months ago and has no interest in females like Gomez. Rather, their concern stems from the obvious fact that Gomez is trying to gain citizenship. “We don’t want that Mexican Jezebel in our country,” said Tonya Lovelace, head of the newly-formed Americans For Bieber and Against Mexican Whores. Lovelace added that “Justin’s child-like innocence will not enable him to see what’s really going on.”

In this file photo, Selena Gomez escapes to U.S. through drainage pipe

What’s really going on, friends of Gomez insist, is a carefully-constructed plot to seduce the young tween star and convince him to marry her. Speaking on the condition of anonymity, one close associate of Gomez said that she “intends to move in carefully and slowly,” adding that, after a few months of sexless flirting, Gomez will “strap on a dildo and give Bieber so much pleasure that he will give into any demand.” Her friends insist that this has been in the planning for years. “Ever since she crawled across the border through that drainage pipe, she has been talking about marrying a rich American homosexual who can make her legal,” said one anonymous source.

Despite the controversies surrounding this offensive and illegal coupling, Bieber’s mother remains optimistic. “I just hope Justin doesn’t turn gay permanently after getting a whiff of Mexican vagina,” she said, “although it might be nice to have some authentic burritos for dinner for once.” Roscoe Jenkins, Bieber’s longtime homosexual top, said that the pairing “made him sick to his stomach,’ adding that “the only thing worse than two men ass-fucking is sex with a Mexican.”

As these exclusive pictures show, Bieber enjoys the close companionship of a larger black man named Roscoe Jenkins who functions as both his bodyguard and sexual top.

As Bieber said in a world-exclusive email interview, he has been carrying on an intimate relationship with Roscoe ever since he first became famous. “Roscoe has been my bodyguard and my gay lover for two years,” said Bieber. Multiple pictures have surfaced of the pair cavorting around together, often with Bieber draped in Roscoe’s loving arms. Bieber said that he “never knew true love until he was held and violated by a black man.”

Justin and Roscoe made their relationship known last month with this public display of affection.

The pair went public last month when this photograph was taken of the two cuddling in each other’s arms at a concert. Shocked fans were reduced to heavy sobbing as they realized that their gorgeous teen heartthrob was really the bottom bitch for a 360 pound black man.

Bieber’s mother, currently being investigated for child endangerment, told Celebrity Freakshow that she had no idea that her mop-haired son was sexually servicing a well-hung Negro male. “I just want him to be happy,” said the negligent mother, “and apparently black dick makes Justin very, very happy.”

Rumors are swirling that the pair will soon become engaged to be married in whatever state allows gay marriage that particular month. Close associates of the pair say that, while Roscoe is ready to get married tomorrow, Justin is waiting anxiously for Roscoe to get an actual job and “stop being a broke-ass nigga.” Friends expect a long engagement.

The gay trailblazer spoke at a conference yesterday promoting yet another in his series of videos. The newest one, Sweating To The Grave, features morbidly obese elderly people attempting to dance while confined to their deathbed. Simmons claims this newest video will “allow people to die with their multiple chins up, knowing they never gave up on their weight loss goals.”

During the news conference, Simmons was quick to emphasize that he is still very much gay. “In fact, I’m gayer than I’ve ever been in my life,” said Simmons, cackling wildly. After dancing around the podium for ten minutes, Simmons proved his point by pulling down his famous striped shorts and showing everyone in attendance his anus, which resembled partially-digested roast beef strips dangling out of a balloon hole. In a slightly less awkward moment, Simmons blurted out that he currently does not have a significant other, “unless by ‘other’ you mean venereal diseases. In that case, I have several,” said the weight loss guru.

When asked if he ever loved a woman, Simmons smiled and said, “I love every woman who has purchased one of my videos!” When asked if he would ever consider having sex with a woman, Simmons nearly fainted before throwing up on himself. Once recovered, Simmons reinforced the fact that he prefers the cock “all day every day.” He also added that the species of cock is immaterial, “just as long as it shoots that warm love ooze right down my throat and all over my face,” said Simmons.

Simmons’ parents released a statement following the conference, in which they apologized to humanity for unleashing their flaming son on the world.

But Lambert plans for even more controversy with his latest concert tour, which will visit many of the major elementary schools across America and Europe. “If those prudes were grossed out by me kissing a guy, then just wait until they see what I’m planning to do in my tour,” said Lambert triumphantly. Sources close to the singer say he plans on rimming a six month olf Labrador puppy onstage during the ballad section of his concert.

Fans of the singer say even they cannot accept this latest stunt. “When he kissed that guy, I was like most other humans. I had to keep myself from becoming physically ill,” said Linda Bryce, head of the Adam Lambert Fan Club. “But if he actually licks a dog’s ass onstage, I’m not sure that even I could support him any longer.”

That’s all the part of the plan, says Lambert. “Music today isn’t about good songs or great performances,” said Lambert. “All that matters is being shocking and repulsive and gay.”

When asked what he might do if this latest stunt fails to draw attention, the singer smiled coyly and said, “Then I guess I’ll have to kill the dog and then fuck its corpse. Onstage.”