Taylor Lautner’s 30 Pounds Of Muscle To Get Spinoff Series
Much has been made of the 30 pounds of muscle Taylor Lautner put on for his bulked up role in the upcoming TWILIGHT sequel NEW MOON. In fact, according to Reuters, the phrase “30 pounds of muscle” is, to this point, the most-used phrase of 2009 in media reporting.
Series creator Stephanie Meyer has paid close attention to the interest in Lautner’s 30 pounds of muscle, and is responding to demand with a spinoff series of books and films based around Lautner’s additional muscle weight.
“Taylor’s muscles are so well developed and sexy. It would be, like, a shame if we failed to give them their own series of books and films,” said Meyer at a recent book signing. Then, to tantalize the rabid fans of the TWILIGHT series, Meyer said: “You would never guess the amazing adventures that the 30 pounds of muscle have in this universe I created!”
For Lautner, this new series gives him the opportunity to flex his muscles while acting, rather than flexing his acting muscles. “Acting is very difficult, so it’ll be great to be paid millions of dollars simply because I put on 30 pounds of muscle,” said the fakely-tanned star. When asked if his 30 pounds of muscle had any other ambitions after this spin-off ends, Lautner shrugged and then took off his shirt “to let his biceps breathe.”
The new spinoff series will likely feature the 30 pounds of muscle battling supernatural creatures like werewolves and vampires. Meyer has also hinted that the 30 pounds of muscle will also fight against another 30 pounds of muscle featured on a teen star yet to be cast. When asked about the reasoning behind this decision, Meyer simply said: “Cha-ching! Cha-ching!”
Lautner is looking forward to seeing his 30 pounds of muscle fight against another young man’s 30 pounds of muscle. “I think it will be hot to see my 30 pounds of muscle rubbing up against his, especially when we’re oiled up and well-lit,” said Lautner. Added Lautner: “I am a huge fan of muscle because I am an openly gay man.”
The 30 pounds of muscle denied any homosexual leanings, and is currently single and looking.
This is so not true!
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Hmmm … ya think? But then again, it kinda is true!
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Sooooooooo not true. Obviously a false statement. Why are you lying?
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What? Gay?! Not true. I would NEVER believe that.
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@ Megan – Is it false? Prove it!!
@ Anonymous – You’d never believe that, eh? What if he came out and said so himself? Would you take back that statement, or would you continue on with your delusion?
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OH this has to be fake where are your sources, and who did the interveiw because i bet it wasn’t you
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@ anonymous – Of course it’s fake. It’s a JOKE. Obviously Taylor Lautners’ muscle cannot have its own film series.
Gimme a break.
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Lol.. just lol.. Ovbiously this was written by someone jealous. But I wouldnt blame you I mean, he’s got everything, girls falling over him, movie star, I see where your coming from.
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Wow, does no one understand satire anymore? This OBVIOUSLY isn’t real, people, it’s supposed to be funny! It’s not supposed to sound real either, so I cannot believe anyone would actually take it seriously. It’s SATIRE! Idiots these days ..
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@ Epiphany – THANK YOU for having a brain!
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[...] to mention the kid is a fag … that never goes over well with the popcorn crowd. SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Taylor [...]
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