“The Situation” Dumber Than Ground Beef!

It was a situation Mike Sorrentino rarely faces in his day to day life of clubbing, getting drunk, and pouting for the camera. At a press conference to promote his ab skin care line Rock Hard, Sorrentino, also known as “The Situation,” was challenged by an angry fan to outsmart the two pounds of ground beef he had tucked under his arm.

The fan, Daniel Christman, said that Sorrentino’s muscular physique and dopey looks had stolen the heart of his fiance, who left him for the first greasy Mexican to come along who almost looked like one of the stars of Jersey Shore. ”I kept telling her that she could never be happy with someone that stupid,” said Christman through tears, “but she said nothing else in the world mattered besides rock hard abs.”

Christman flung a package of regular ground beef onto the platform at a press conference announcing Sorrentino’s new ab skin care line. Called Rock Hard, it consists of a cream that is slathered on the abdominal area so that, according to Sorrentino, “your rock hard abs stay silky smooth.” When confronted by the package of ground beef, Sorrentino at first appeared confused and agitated. After a thirty minute explanation of what ground beef was, Sorrentino accepted Christman’s challenge.

Christman asked Sorrentino and the package of ground beef a series of twenty questions, including “what color is the sky” and “blurt out one letter that appears in your own name.” The ground beef never responded, while Sorrentino could only respond by mumbling and lifting his shirt to reveal his well-defined abs. Although neither contestant managed to answer any questions, the ground beef was then fried into delicious hamburgers to feed the crowd, so it was declared the winner based on its nutritional value.

For Sorrentino, it’s a beat down worse than any he ever faced in his life. When asked how he felt about losing to a loaf of ground beef, Sorrentino shrugged and lifted his shirt in defeat.